i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
