I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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