today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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