Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
In the future we'll all be gay
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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