If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
