when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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