You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
