You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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