so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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