he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize