where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if i can run in heels then i can drive
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
