I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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