every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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