You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
