if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
tell me about the fingering
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize