She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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