how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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