he shaved USA in his pubs
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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