he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
