I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
