I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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