i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
