i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
