I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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