I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize