Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just pee around me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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