I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
