Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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