Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
