ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about youâ€
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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