Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
