Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
