My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
