im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
