I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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