yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
