dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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