My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
