What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
