just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
