I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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