I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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