I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
