I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
