My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize