Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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