i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize