You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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