y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
