i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Terrible idea I love it
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
