I just cut my nipple shaving
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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