First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize