Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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