Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
