Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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