Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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