you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
