i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
