In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
