i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
