that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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