Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
