someone threw a dead crab at me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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