Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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