i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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