I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
