Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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