She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
