I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
