Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
