If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
should my penis look like a turkey
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
