I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you inspire me to be a worse person
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
